Thut up
by Rogue Soul Alchemist
Summary: When Ed get's his tongue pierced & can't pronunce the letter S,He has to hide it from Roy's crew. Can he? One-shot Parental Roy & Ed


Ed did it. Ed got his tongue pierced. All because Havoc heard that Roy thought he shouldn't pierce his tongue, and it was stupid. So, of course, Ed had to do it. Now he couldn't say the letter S without it sounding like "th". Ed knew that if the colonel found out he would make Ed get rid of it. But Ed didn't want to. He was sure the "TH" instead of "S" faze would pass.

It was a normal day inside of Eastern Command, warm and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. Just the day before, a certain alchemist had gotten his tongue pierced. Now, much to his dismay, he had to give a report to his superior officer, Roy Mustang. Ed knew that the colonel wouldn't exactly _approve _of Ed's new piercing, so he had to be extra cautious. That meant no words with "S" in them, or he'd be busted.

Ed walked into Roy's office with his report.

"Fullmetal." Roy greeted, his eyes still on the document he was reading.

'Can we, get thi- it, could we get it over with?" Riza was the only one to notice Ed dodging the letter S.

"Of course but it may take a while before you can reach my desk with your tiny little feet." Ed stalked over and slammed his report on Roy's desk, to prove that he _wasn't_ short.

"For someone so short, you are acting quite...lofty." Edward's fists clenched, and his face was going red. Roy smirked. Ed was making quite an effort to keep his temper in check. He pretended not to notice Ed's strain and leaned back in chair, lacing his fingers together, which irritated Ed further.

"Fullmetal, you are certainly trying to improve on your 'low' standards when it comes to keeping your temper." Ed grinded his teeth together.

"Midget." And that did it. Ed gave him the look of a very, very angry bull ready to tear him to pieces. It was actually quite amusing, to see someone so small seem to be overflowed with rage over such an unimportant thing. Ed opened his mouth to scream obscenities at his superior but took a moment before closing it back up and facing the floor.

"May. I. Be. Excused. Right. Now. Colonel. Jerk face." Ed said slowly through clenched teeth, not looking Roy in the face.

"No you may not, bean sprout." Ed growled. Roy wouldn't admit it but he was impressed on how long the young alchemist was holding out.

"Falman, Fuery, Havoc, Breda. I directly order you to call Fullmetal small. I don't care the word you use as long as you state the fact." Roy ordered. Ed's fists tightened.

"Colonel are you sure that's safe?" Fuery asked scared, he couldn't disobey Roy but…he didn't want to be scared for life either.

"I assure you it is completely safe, now start." The room was silent "Now!"

"Small!"

"Midget!"

"Pipsqueak!"

"Little."

Riza watched as they continued throwing names at Ed. She was only the slightest bit amused but she wanted to know what Ed was hiding for him to last this long to yelling back at his superior officer.

"Tiny-little-bean." Roy said. He was obviously enjoying every little bit of this.

Ed finally had enough. "DON'T CALL ME -" Ed paused for the smallest moment, "LITTLE! I'LL KILL YOU! COOK YOU! FEED YOU TO MY MECHANIC** AND **TELL HER YOU BROKE MY AUTO-MAIL!" Ed screamed obviously out of breath from it.

"That's all you got?" Roy asked, challenging his young subordinate. Roy and Riza were the only ones that saw that little moment when Ed paused. The rest of Roy's crew minus Hawkeye all cowered in fear. None of them, besides Roy and Riza, realized something was wrong. The only thing they realized was that Ed was about to blow up.

"Well it is expected from someone _so_ _**low**__ that they could reach the core of the_ _world_." Roy could tell Ed was hiding something and he had a feeling if he kept this up he would reveal it. Besides, he really enjoyed watching the young state alchemist explode.

Ed took deep breaths in anger. He looked down at the floor for a moment. Then he slowly lifted his head and faced Roy with a look of pure hatred.

"DON'T! CALL! ME! THMALL! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR HANDTH and THTICH THEM ON YOUR HEAD! AND! I'M NOT THO THMALL THAT IF I GO TO THE PARK EVERYONE WOULD MITHTAKE ME FOR A BABY CAUTHE I'M THO THMALL AND THEN WHEN I GO IN THE THAND BOX I'LL BE THO THMALL I'LL THINK IN AND THAN FALL THROUGH ALL THE CRACKTH THROUGH THE WORLD AND FALL INTO THE CORE WERE I WOULD MELT AND WHEN PEOPLE CAME THEIR THEY WOULD THINK I'M JUST A MELTED PENNY CAUTHE I'M THO THMALL!"

"Fullmetal, why didn't you say the letter S?" Roy asked with a serious face completely ignoring everything Ed yelled about. Riza noticed it to.

"Edward, what is wrong with your tongue?" Riza asked sternly. Ed turned away and crossed his arms. Roy got up from his chair and walked over.

"Fullmetal open your mouth." Roy ordered.

"No way!" Ed yelled.

"Havoc." Roy signaled. Ed's eyes widened as Havoc grabbed him from behind restraining his arms. Roy walked over."Fullmetal open your mouth." Roy repeated. Ed shook his head no. Roy sighed and held Ed's nose so he had no choice but to open his mouth if he wanted to breathe. Ed finally gave up and his mouth opened. Roy held his mouth open so he could look inside to see he pierced his tongue.

"Boss?" Havoc asked, letting go of Ed. Riza walked over.

"You pierced your tongue?"

"Tho?"

"_Tho." _Roy mimicked him "You have to see a doctor, it could get infected, then you would have to take it out anyway. " Roy said matter-of-fact. Ed scoffed.

"Whatever."

"Fuery, call a doctor." The man nodded and hurried to the phone.

"Edward, why did you decide to get your tongue pierced? You're only fifteen." Riza asked.

"None of your business." Ed said, crossing his arms. After a bit, he added, "Didn't you hear yesterday when the colonel told me not to…" Then they all realized.

"Did you only do it because the colonel said not to?" Fuery asked. The whole office began laughing with exception of Riza who only sighed.

"And this teaches you a lesson." Roy grinned.

Ed gave Roy a questioning look.

"Never question '_the Mustang'."_ Roy smirked.

"What was that sir?" Riza asked.

"Nothing lieutenant!" Roy froze.

"Oh, I'm tho thcared" Ed said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Thut up Fullmetal" Roy teased.

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><p><strong>Thanks to "NothingIWontGive" for editing this!<strong>

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